Change Only Happens From The Inside Out

If you’re searching for the key to success, look inside yourself Unknown

“I think I’m done with therapy!” I told my therapist, outpouring my pent-up frustration. “It seems that all this talking and introspection is useless. Four years of continuous work and I’m still unsatisfied and constantly disappointed!”

And so I kept on rambling. “What’s the point of it all? I’m finally married to someone I love, after getting out of an unhappy marriage. I shifted to a career that I’m actually passionate about. I moved to another country, particularly to a paradisiacal city which most people would be thrilled to even just visit. I dropped over 25 pounds and feel very comfortable (even proud!) with my physical appearance. I’ve even discovered new hobbies that have shown me a different way of living. And all for what?”

There was a minute of silence. And then my therapist, after having told me so a million times before, once again calmly said: “Remember that: Change happens from the inside out. Not the other way around.”

Oh how I hated that she was right! I had managed to radically change my outside world completely, yet I still felt the same. Everything around me looked so different and so similar at the same time. Because even though my external world had changed, I had not.

It seems that despite my therapist’s words of wisdom, all along I chose to believe that if I created that perfect life I had always dreamed of I would finally be who I wanted to be.

So I spent all my energy and effort in changing everything about my circumstances that did not make me happy. Much needed changes that I don’t regret. But that time showed me were not enough for a true transformation.

As much as I wanted it to, changing the outside did not change the inside.

You can move to the other side of the world. Start a relationship with the partner of your dreams. Or even accomplish the professional goals you desire the most. But what I learned is that: Wherever you go, whoever you’re with, or whatever you do, you take yourself with you. 

And if despite your choices, you still remain the same person you were before, your life won’t be much different.

Only real personal change, the change that comes from within, can turn your life around.

So here are 6 tips to keep in mind during this journey toward personal transformation:

1. Nothing ever changes, until you do. If you have external circumstances that are making you unhappy, by all means change them. Change them in an intelligent and unwavering way. But keep in mind, that whatever role you are playing in that unhappiness will continue, unless you change too.

2. If you want true change, face yourself. There’s no running or hiding. You have to look at your biggest fears straight in the eye. You have to dig deep into your old hurts and wounds.  And you have to challenge your self-limiting beliefs and toxic ways of thinking.

3. Believe you can change, then persevere. Don’t hope you can change. Believe that you will. The right mindset is critical for this mission. Because defying your lifetime habits will not be easy. It will feel like swimming against the tide. And it’ll be your faith and determination what will give you the courage to carry on.

4. Watch out for your unconscious along the way. Challenging yourself will feel so threatening that you may rely on defense mechanisms such as denial to avoid facing your reality. This will “protect” you from the anxiety of confronting some ugly truths about yourself. But will only delay, or even sabotage, your road to transformation.

5. Avoid a real self vs. ideal self war. Fighting against your (not-so-desirable) actual self is not only pointless, but steals away the energy you need to transform into your ideal self. That person you aspire to be. The more you fight who you are now the harder it’ll be to let go of it. You need to accept yourself just as you are so you can then start working towards transforming into that person worthy of your admiration.

6. Take it day-by-day. Step-by-step. Transformational change is created through daily individual actions. There’s no milestone to be reached. Because it is a process that lasts a lifetime. All you can do is take a step every day to get closer to the person you wish to be. And every now and then, stop to reflect on who you are today, and compare it with who you were yesterday.

We can all undergo a process of personal transformation or “metamorphosis” (as I like to call it), if we’re willing to let go of who we are to become who we truly want to be. And just like the caterpillar completely rearranges its form to emerge into something so beautiful, we too can emerge from our cocoon to transform into the best version of our unique wonderful self.

It is not the beauty of the butterfly what makes it so remarkable. It’s the changes it has gone through to achieve such beauty.

Today’s article was written by Jessica Beltran, MS and is shared from the following website: https://blogs.psychcentral.com/thrive/2014/10/change-only-happens-from-the-inside-out/

 

No widget added yet.

I attribute my success to this: I never gave nor took an excuse Florence Nightingale

Is your passion another person’s seeming disdain? If so, be sure to read on…  We all have a calling. Our heart speaks to us and gently attempts to guide us. I hope today’s story will inspire you to listen to your heart, find what your mission is supposed to be, and realize success in its truest of forms!

Florence Nightingale entered the hospital and was appalled and horrified by what she saw. Wounded soldiers lay on straw mats that lined the room like coffins waiting for burial. The floor was covered with dirt and blood. There were no hospital gowns: the men still wore their uniforms. As Nightingale passed them, each soldier tried to act stern and tough, but their boyish faces betrayed unmistakable pain. Those who were able to conquer their convulsions lay still, as if dead.

These were the hospital conditions in Scutari, Turkey during the Crimean War. Florence and a group of nurses were sent to this hospital to help make the hospital a more efficient place. The first change Florence made was scrubbing all the injured men’s clothes. Then, she spent her own money buying bandages, operating tables and other basic necessities for the hospital. Her nurses cleaned the whole hospital so there were no more germs and this helped to stop contamination and spread of disease. She is a hero because she changed the hospital and saved lives with her determination and hard work.

Florence Nightingale also changed the profession of nursing forever. Nursing was once an occupation with little respect: people didn’t think you needed any special training or skills to do it, and most nurses were poor and uneducated. It was very unusual for Florence, who came from the upper class, to work in a hospital. The hospital conditions were more sanitary after she reorganized everything. Funds and donations flooded into hospitals and the patients received better care. Hospitals around the world were changed forever, and caring for the sick became an honorable profession.

Nightingale was born in Florence, Italy on May 12, 1820. Although Italian born, she grew up in London, England where her education included the study of Greek, Latin, German, French and Italian. Her father taught her history and philosophy while her governess schooled her in music and drawing. As part of an upper class family, Nightingale and her her sister were expected to grow up as proper ladies who would “devote themselves to their family, husband, society, entertainment and cultural pursuits” (Bullough, 1993).

She was driven by a different dream. She believed that her attraction to nursing was God’s will, or “a calling,” and because of that she made many personal sacrifices to pursue her professional life with intensity.

Her family disapproved of her decision to take up the nursing profession, which was seen in her day as a vocation for lower classes, one carried out under harsh conditions in dirty hospital environments. The family’s disappointment did not deter her from her goal, and at the age of 33, having studied nursing for nine years, Florence began caring for the sick.

In 1853, she was asked to work at the Harley Street Nursing Home. There, she made improvements that included better organization and training for the staff, and she implemented a system that piped hot water to every floor. She also created a lift to bring patients their meals (Falkus, 1980).

The Crimean War began and the British army was unprepared to accommodate British battle injuries and casualties in Crimea. This led to disasters such as cholera, lack of supplies, and inadequate sanitation. British Secretary of War, Sidney Herbert asked Nightingale to take nurses and help the hospital in Scutari, Turkey. On October 21, 1854 she set out for the hospital with the 38 nurses she had trained.

The state of the hospital in Turkey was horrendous but

even more challenging was the hostile attitude the nurses received from the doctors. Many did not even allow nurses inside the wards! It wasn’t until the Battle of Inkerman, during which the British suffered many casualties and the hospitals became overcrowd that the doctors were forced to ask for help.

Nightingale used her own money to make the hospital a cleaner, healthier and more efficient place for patients. She brought in basics including bandages, extra clothes, 200 scrub brushes and better food. She also took all the dirty clothing outside the hospital to be washed.

She sent reports back to London about ways to improve conditions and assumed care of the patients at night, moving about each floor comforting patients with a lamp in hand. This intimate relationship with her patients earned her the affectionate title of “Lady with the Lamp.”

Though the male hospital team often resented her power to affect change, the troops were so grateful to her that they raised a special fund to allow her to continue her work.

Through selfless devotion and sheer determination, Florence Nightingale transformed the profession of nursing forever. She gave dignity and honor to what continues to be a female-dominated profession and revolutionized hospital conditions, making them more organized and above all, sanitary. Largely because of her efforts, funds and donations flood into hospitals, allowing patients around the world to receive better care.

 Today’s article was written by Gretchen and is shared from the following website: https://myhero.com/f_Nightingale

No widget added yet.

8 Ways to Help Others Succeed

A Warrior’s mission is to foster the success of others Morihei Ueshiba

8 WAYS TO HELP OTHERS SUCCEED

Of all the joys of leadership, helping others succeed is one of the most rewarding and yet many leaders do not show an aptitude for this trait. There are numerous reasons for this from sheer hubris to not wanting underlings to advance beyond them due to insecurity. Probably the most common issue with helping others succeed is that it takes time and effort. Most leaders are so stressed out trying to maximize their own progress, they have little time or energy to perform the tasks that will allow others to blossom.

Here are eight areas where leaders can invest time and energy to find the payoff substantially more than the investment.

1. Become a Mentor

Having a good mentor speeds the development of any professional by 2-3 times the rate that would be achieved if one had to rely on self study and experience. Leaders need to realize that being a good mentor brings numerous advantages not only to the protégé but to himself. Reason: When we coach someone else, we are actually subconsciously coaching ourselves. In addition, the protégé brings information and a point of view that the leader would find hard to obtain without a trusted source of information. Make sure you are actively mentoring at least 2 professionals.

2. Invest Time

Taking time out of your day to coach other people adds perspective and helps prevent burnout. Thinking positive thoughts about what someone could become with the right development is a welcome break from the pressure cooker of critical decisions and time commitments. You will find yourself looking forward to your “people development time” once you get in the habit.

3. Be Accessible

Show by example that it is easy to get through to you. Many top executives insulate themselves from underlings to help manage time. When you demonstrate a willingness to get back to people quickly, it sends a signal that they really matter to you. That translates into improved morale, which directly boosts productivity. It takes a lot of discipline, but if people respect your willingness to be responsive, they will not be likely to abuse the privilege.

4. Empathize In Rough Times

We all go through difficult periods both professionally and personally. When a leader reaches out with moral support during these times, it shows a human side that makes a huge difference. One caveat, however, never reflect sympathy if it is not sincere. People see right through insincere empathy, and it can do more damage than ignoring the problems of people.

5. Get People in the Right Position

At any time, somewhere between 20-40% of professionals are in the wrong job just trying to survive and do their best. When you constantly seek to understand the correct position for individuals, you not only help reduce their personal agony, you improve productivity in giant chunks. This matching process is not a one shot affair. Make it a constant analysis of who could be better placed in another position. Sometimes this will mean a lateral move, or a promotion, or even a demotion. Many people have significantly improved their quality of work life by taking a demotion. It has saved the lives of many professionals.

6. Be a Mirror

When someone has a failing strategy, it is often difficult for the person to even see it let alone know how to change it. You can be helpful at bringing people to reality. Do this in a kind way following the Golden Rule, and you will rarely go wrong. If you avoid getting involved with failing people, you are just letting them drift along with their suboptimal condition, which wastes their precious time and hurts the organization.

7. Develop People – Including Yourself

Make sure every person has a concrete development plan that is not just a string of courses, readings, or seminars. Personal growth is really about helping people rise to their highest possible contribution. Make sure you model personal development yourself. Do not consider that you are too busy for it. Your own development plan should inspire your underlings to have one as well.

8. Write Your Own Eulogy

One helpful exercise is to actually sit down and write your own eulogy. It sounds maudlin, but it is really a helpful exercise. When you crystallize your thoughts about how you would like to be remembered it is easier to see the deltas from your current pathway. Then it is up to you to do something about it.

There are probably dozens of other things a leader can do to help others, but this list of eight things is a great place to start.

Today’s article was written by Robert Whipple and is shared from the following website: http://www.evancarmichael.com/library/robert-whipple/8-Ways-to-Help-Others-Succeed.html

No widget added yet.

Worldly Success vs Godly Success

In my estimation, the Master’s great success formula is - First, believe you can do it, Second, look to the Lord for your blessings Third, make the sacrifice, Fourth, expect a miracle. And Fifth, receive the miracle with great humility. I bear witness that this formula is effective in the Lord’s work, and I am persuaded it works everywhere else too. Hartman Rector, Jr.

There is a story of Dr. Tony Campolo, a popular Christian speaker and professor of sociology at Eastern University speaking before a national women’s meeting.  Before he was introduced, the president of that organization read a letter from a missionary who was leading a project for the poor and needed $3,000 more to fulfill the project.  After reading the letter, the president introduced Dr. Campolo, and then asked him to please offer a prayer on behalf of missionary that she would be able to raise the money needed to complete this worthwhile project.

Dr. Campolo looked at the president of the organization and emphatically told her “No!”   The president looked astonished, but Dr. Campolo repeated, “No, I won’t pray that the missionary will be able to raise $3,000.  But here’s what I will doOn this table at the front of the room I’m going to empty all the cash that I have out of my wallet – there, $25.  Now, one by one, I want every woman in this room to come up and empty the cash out of their pocketbooks onto this table.  Don’t anybody write out any checks.  Just empty the cash you have on you out of your pocketbooks.  When we’re done, if there is still any money needed to bring us up to the needed $3,000, I will personally write a check for the remaining amount.

The president of the organization smiled and said, “Oh I get it.  I understand the lesson you’re trying to teach us.”  But Campolo replied, “No you don’t get it, Mrs. President. I put my $25 on the table and you still haven’t put your cash down yet.  Cough it up!”  So the president emptied the cash out of her purse, $250.  And then, one by one, hundreds of women filed up to the table and emptied out all of the cash from their purses.  They set a couple of women to begin counting it as it was being brought forth.  It took a little over an hour to complete the process, so there was really no time for him to deliver the talk that he had prepared. By the end, they counted over $5,000 ($2,000 more than needed).  Dr. Campolo went to the podium, looking out at his audience and simply said, “How dare we ask God to give resources that He has already given us for just such a purpose!

God gives us, so that we can then go and do His work in this world! God blesses us with countless gifts, and if we are filled with His Spirit and allow His love to dwell in the depths of our heart, we then come to realize that all we have is His, and the Lord expects us to use His gifts to reach out to others! To glorify His name through the blessings we have already received.

Unfortunately, our society instills in us a completely opposite lesson. Whatever we have, we’re supposed to save up and use for ourselves. A desire for more, a focus and priority in buying, obtaining more possessions, getting nicer things, bigger homes, fancier cars, the latest fashions in clothes, and I could go on. In many ways, this temptation towards obtaining more and more is the epitome of the American way of life, of a so-called “successful” life. The more we have, the nicer things we possess, the more our neighbors and others will look upon us as “having made it.”

Honestly we could say that if society has to choose one standard by which to determine “success,” it would be wealth! If someone is rich and living comfortably, they are successful. We even overlook or ignore the way one became wealthy. We often see a total disregard for the means of achieving wealth, but instead see a blind adulation on the rich and famous.

Yet, today’s Gospel lesson offers a stark contrast between such worldly success and success in God’s eyes. The Gospel describes a rich man who was so wealthy, that he retires early. He built a huge home. He had enough to live quite comfortably for the remainder of his life.  He simply said to himself, “Soul, you have done quite well.  Take it easy – relax, eat, drink and be merry.”

To be honest, how many of us hear about such a life and envy it?  Most of us would call this person a resounding success! Yet, God looks down and says to the man, “Fool! This night your soul will be required of you; then whose will those things be which you have saved?” Can it be that sometimes what the world sees as success is foolishness to God? Why does St. Paul say that friendship with the standards of the world is contrary to friendship with God?

God is uninterested in money and possessions and status symbols in and of themselves. He takes a keen interest, though, in what we do with the gifts He gives us, in what type of stewards we are with our possessions. Will we be self-centered, gathering only for ourselves and our family, and caring only for our own comfort, or will we understand life as an opportunity to help others – to love our neighbor as ourselves. God understands success from the perspective of divine love, which implies a life of giving, not gathering; of helping, not focusing on oneself. Contrary to society’s worldview, life is not about an individualistic, self-centered pursuit of wealth, fame, and power, where our ego becomes the center of the world!

Here lies the sin of the rich man in today’s Gospel. God calls him a fool because of his egocentric blindness. Regardless of his wealth and prosperity, his comfort and ease in life, the rich man forgot about the essence of life. We all need to understand and say often to ourselves, “Life is not about me!”

Why don’t you say that with me right now, “Life is not about me!”

The rich fool forgot that the greatest treasure of life is God’s love. “Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven and His righteousness,” Jesus taught us! Living within this Kingdom of God implies faithfully living a life of sacrificial love, of humble service to others, a life of mercy and grace where we imitate our Lord through our words and actions! Success in God’s eyes may mean raising a family with the fear of God, protecting and nurturing a Christ-centered marriage, caring for aging parents with tenderness and sacrifice! Success in God’s eyes means following His commandments in our everyday lives, walking as Jesus walked, and sharing His love with all those around us. Success in God’s eyes means finding time to commune with Him each and every day – through our prayers, in the worship of our Church, in our participation in the sacraments.

It’s quite interesting to understand that “success” in God’s eyes has nothing to do with an abundance of wealth, fame or power. If we’re wealthy, God will view success in terms of sharing our wealth with those in need.

Remember, Godly success does not depend on how many possessions we have, but on how few possessions we need to be content in life, and thus, in our willingness to joyfully share our abundance with others. Success in the eyes of God does not depend on how comfortable and easy our life is, but on how we ascetically strive without ceasing to sacrifice for others and to bless the lives of others.

It seems quite appropriate that each year we read this Gospel lesson around the time of Thanksgiving, and how it falls today on Stewardship Sunday. The central question we are asked today on Stewardship Sunday is, “How am I using my blessings to glorify God, to support His Church, and to help others?”Success. According to the world, and according to God. Two completely different things. May each of us take care not to become a “fool” in God’s eyes, but to live out our lives as good and faithful stewards of all He has given us

Today’s article is shared from the following website: http://www.schwebster.org/sermons/worldly-success-vs-godly-success

No widget added yet.

Do You Think it is Too Late for You to Succeed?…

 The secret of succeeding comes from doing the right thing at the right time and in the right way, and God will show you the way Melvin J. Ballard

Dorothy Varney: Seasons of Success

Hard work and success are no strangers to Dorothy Varney of Auburn, California. This dignified, soft-spoken woman has started two successful companies in the past ten years and is now at work on her third career.

A wife and mother of four, Dorothy spent her younger years immersed in raising her children and being a homemaker, thoroughly contented with her busy life in the Los Angeles area. At age 50, with one teenager left at home and a husband facing early retirement, she suggested to her husband that she get a job. Much to her surprise, he agreed.

“I felt like everybody’s mother as I was interviewed by pretty, young secretaries,” she remembers, laughing. “So I decided that I would do something on my own, although I wasn’t sure what it would be. One day, while giving directions to someone from out of town, it suddenly hit me that I had been doing this all of my life. I was always the person people called to find out what interesting places were nearby and how to get there.”

Dorothy Varney began giving customized tours to small groups of tourists, taking clients in her own car and doing the narration herself. “Custom Mini Tours,” as she named the fledgling company, gradually expanded to using a station wagon, then a van, and then two vehicles driving in tandem, with Dorothy pointing out the sights with a CB radio. As the business continued to grow, she began offering bus tours, with sometimes as many as twenty buses on different tours at the same time. …

The growth of her tour business brought Dorothy in contact with tour agents for large cruise-ship lines. They needed a passenger-greeting service, she learned, someone to meet large groups of passengers at the airports, transport them to the docks, and get them settled comfortably on board the cruise ships.

That need prompted the birth of “Your Reps,” Dorothy Varney’s second business, which represented several cruise lines.

“Sometimes our schedule was quite hectic. We would no sooner finish with one large group than we would have to change into the blazers of a different line and start all over again with another group.” “Your Reps” flourished, eventually employing sixty people in three cities. Although running both businesses placed demands on her time and energies, Dorothy always found time for her family and her LDS Church callings, including Relief Society president three times and seminary teacher for several years.

“The Church has certainly influenced my business dealings with people,” says Sister Varney. “In starting my businesses, I sought guidance from the Lord every step of the way. Because I was fulfilling my Church callings, I had the confidence and leadership skills to accomplish the things I did.”

On the other hand, she feels her business experience has made her more effective in her Church callings. “The more people you meet, the better understanding you have of their problems. Becoming more open and tolerant has helped me in the counseling and teaching I have done in the Church.”

When Dorothy’s husband retired seven years ago from his job as an electrical engineer, they sold the tour business and moved to northern California, where he went into partnership with one of their children. Two years ago they sold “Your Reps.”

But Dorothy, who prefers to be self-employed, hasn’t slowed down. She has launched into a third career—writing.

“I’ve always wanted to be a free-lance writer,” she explains. And, true to form, she has approached it seriously, taking classes on the techniques of writing and selling newspaper and magazine articles.

For the last five years, she has been writing a travel column for a local monthly newspaper, and she sold her first article to a major newspaper, the Los Angeles Times. She is now working on a book.

“When I was a young mother with small children, I couldn’t see beyond the immediate, constant demands on my time,” says Dorothy. “I couldn’t possibly imagine that my life would ever be different or that I would still feel young and vital after my babes were grown and gone.

“Now, from my ‘advanced years,’ it’s easy for me to see that a woman can play many roles. I’m grateful that I played the most important one first—that of being a mother. That role must be played in the early years. You can’t start a family at fifty or sixty, but it’s not a bit too late to launch a career. It makes me want to tell young women, ‘Don’t cheat yourselves. Savor each season.’”

Today’s article was written by Robert McGraw and was shared from the following website: https://www.lds.org/ensign/1987/02/portraits/dorothy-varney-seasons-of-success?lang=eng

No widget added yet.