19 Steps to Becoming Your Unique Self

You were born an original. Don’t die a copy John Mason

19 Steps to Becoming Your Unique Self

Being unique helps to give us a sense of self-worth and importance. I most certainly seek to maintain my individualism and try to hold on to anything that makes me…… well me!

Here are a few tips to help you find your point of difference……

  1. Know that you are already unique:  There are so many factors that contribute to making us who we are.  Your genetics, your experiences, personality and outlook can only be a result of you. Recognize what it is that makes you unique and embrace it.
  2. Don’t ‘try’ to be normal: Naturally as humans, we try to fit in with others.  This is often a natural reaction to avoid criticism or looking strange.  It’s generally a ‘stay safe’ reaction. Be mindful of your tendency to try fit in, and where it may be in face hindering your uniqueness.
  3. Don’t try to be ‘ab-normal’: This might be trying to ‘fake’ something that you’re not in order to stand out or be ‘better’ than those around you. Sometimes you might actually look ‘weird’.  Being unique is being your authentic, genuine self. Acknowledge and embrace it.
  4. Be confident: Confidence isn’t about proving yourself; it is about being content just the way you are. Being confident is trusting that you ‘good enough’ and reflecting that in the way you carry yourself.
  5. Be self-reliant: It is impossible to live your life without the assistance or interaction of those around you.  However there is a difference between enjoying the company of others, and relying on others to fulfil a certain personal outcome.  This might include depending on others for self-benefit; i.e. popularity, entertainment, comfort or money.  When you rely on others, you limit your true potential and find yourself confined to that person.  Being self-reliant can be hard to attain, yet is a valuable life-long skill.
  6. Reflect on what ‘being unique’ means to you: This inspires you to reflect on your values and what you feel is uniquely important to you.  This will help you to take action to embracing (and loving) your unique self.
  7. Identify your values: This is about discovering ‘who you are’.  Assess whether your current values match what being unique means to you.  This might include friends, relationships, human ethics or values.  This exercise will help you remember that your values are unique to you, and highlight areas that you might want to improve.
  8. Fight your insecurities: Sadly we often develop insecurities over what others think of us.  Our insecurities hinder our path to finding our true selves.  Being aware of them can help you to see that they are unnecessary obstacles and seek ways to overcome them.
  9. Determine your goals: Once you’ve identified your values, it’s important to determine your goals. This may be working towards what you value.  It will give you a direction to move forwards and start making necessary changes.
  10. Be aware of your emotions: This requires you to identify your emotions that are a result of you and not the people around you.  It can also help to be aware of how your emotions can cloud your judgement / perception of yourself, and find way to see things as they really are, or for the ‘greater good’.
  11. Be assertive, yet open-minded: Know your opinions yet be open to suggestion of others. It is important to be ‘mindful’ or conscientious of those around you and embracing each and everyone’s differences (including your own). Just as you are unique, so is everyone else.
  12. Have the power to think independently: Be mindful not to give in to ‘peer pressure’ when the influences are there.  Feel comfortable with forming your own opinions and opposing views to others, if you feel necessary.Being Unique - Image 3
  13. Dress for yourself: Avoid dressing to impress those around you.  Your clothing is an opportunity to reflect who you are.  By conforming to the fashions, you are not embracing who you are.  This may reflect on your values of self-love and highlight any potential insecurity you might have.
  14. Stand up for yourself: Standing up for yourself does not mean being opinionated or stubborn yet means you are being true to your values and defending your true self…. (when others question it).  Standing up for yourself is an important lifelong tool, and enables you to feel more self-confident when dealing with confronting situations.
  15. Ignore the haters: It is impossible to be liked by everyone and seeking that acceptance will only leave you disappointed. Just because someone doesn’t like you, doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.  If you truly love yourself, you won’t seek and rely on validation from others:
  16. Try new things: This involves being open minded to new activities. Overcoming fears and embracing new experiences can be empowering, help you lead a more ‘interesting life’ and develop into your best self.
  17. Educate yourself: Attempt to learn new things.  Expanding your knowledge is empowering and can help you to have enlightening intellectual conversations with people you usually wouldn’t interact with.  Have you heard the saying; ‘knowledge is power’?  Being knowledgeable, can help open many new doors for you, increase independence and gain a lot more respect from those around you.
  18. Embrace your uniqueness: This does not mean going out of your way to be different, yet this means making a point of trying to be your true self around people you would usually refrain from.  This will help build your confidence and may prove to you that others don’t really think about you as much as you think they do!
  19. Do things that you sincerely enjoy: Lastly, go out of your way to reward yourself.  You deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else. This will help you to remember your value and that you are, unique, special and worthy of being happy – just as is everyone else!

Today’s article was shared from the following website: http://www.yoursuccessprogram.com/blog/19-steps-to-becoming-your-unique-self/

 

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The D’s of Depression – Delve Into the Depths of Your Soul Part 3

Know Yourself and You Will Win All Battles Sun Tzu

If you have been following my posts this week, you know that I am addressing how to overcome depression. Overcoming depression is not an easy task but, I believe, it is a possible task.

The first step is knowing yourself. That is the focus for this week. You need to know you and you need to know who you really are. You need to know all of the self-talk that goes on within your head and you need to root out and eliminate all of the lies you believe about yourself.

Have you ever made a mistake and told yourself, “You Dummy!” Yup, me too. That kind of self talk may seem pretty innocent but my experience has shown me that, all too often, there is more lurking behind those trite moments of self-talk that are not innocent at all.

Let’s look at this another way. How comfortable are you with giving yourself a pat on the back? Do you commend yourself for a good decision? Is telling yourself “Way to Go!” a frequent occurrence? I’m not talking the I’m better than anybody else, conceited type of self-talk. I’m referring to humble acknowledgement of your strengths, abilities, and capacity.

Do you participate in a lot of comparing yourself to others? Do you understand that comparing yourself to others is a lose/lose proposition? There is no other you in the entire universe and there never will be. Comparing yourself to others is like a rose comparing itself to an orchid. Both are wonderful and beautiful but a rose is never going to be an orchid and an orchid is never is going to be a rose and the world is a much better place because we have both.

Sometimes it is not fun delving into the depths of your own soul. It can be a painful place to find yourself. Other times, it can be fascinating to find things about yourself that you never had known or acknowledged before. It can be hard work but I promise that you will be the joyous benefactor of all your efforts. If you are willing, knowing yourself will be a huge blessing and is a key step in overcoming depression.

Today, I am sharing another article by Farnoosh Brook. I hope you will take the time to read it and that you will continue to do the work to know yourself better. Hugs to you!

How to Get to Know Yourself in 5 Fool-Proof Steps

Living a lie comes out sooner or later.

The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painfulthan the risk it took to blossom. ~Anais Nin

When I read this quote first, I felt something tighten in my heart.

I was still at my corporate job, living in total conflict with my core values, and still denying the reality of the situation. It took a simple phrase to snap me out of my coma and help me see how I had created my own agony: By denying who I am.

And for what? So I could go on being someone else to impress people I don’t care about for reasons that don’t matter? It isn’t worth living a lie and being untrue to who you are, no matter how crazy, how eccentric, how uncommon, how different you may be.

You are who you are. The earlier in life you accept this and get on with it, the easier and sweeter you shall live out your days.

Let’s start embracing it instead of hiding it under the covers.

As for me, when the lie became so blatantly obvious, I accepted who I am, quit my cushy job, started my online business, created my dream lifestyle and have never looked back.

A secret I didn’t even know: You won’t miss the lie you are living, because living true to yourself is the real paradise.

This kickstarted the beginning of a self-discovery journey that I share with you here: How to get to know yourself and how to have the courage to live life as exactly who you were meant to be, being true to your core values, and coming to peace with it all.

How well do you know yourself? Ready to find out?

You can be different from the rest of the world and still be fabulous — in fact, you’re fabulous because of it, not despite it.

Different means good. So if you are different, you, my dear, are good.

The idea is to understand what makes you different, and as you do that, you get to know yourself better.

It’s perfectly fine to explore what your heart wants. It’s completely alright to tune out the rest of the world so you can build a connection with your soul. It’s remarkably uncommon, but it’s fine and it’s alright, so do it. You won’t regret getting to know the person who lives inside yuo.

The most beautiful thing you will ever witness in your life is when you begin to unfold into the person you were meant to be from your very beginning.

It’s not about your favorite color or school subject. We’re talking big stuff.

Knowing yourself is beyond figuring out your favorite color or your favorite subject in school or your favorite music album. We are no longer in high school — thank heavens – where being “yourself” meant mimicking everyone else, acting stupid in the collective and defying rules, and feeling insecure all day long while doing it!

Knowing yourself is the process of understanding you – the human being – on deeper levels than the surface. It is an unpredictable road that you must bewillingto explore. It brings you face-to-face with your deep self-doubts and insecurities. It makes you take a serious look at the way you are living your life and put it to question.

The whole thing can suck for a little while but then it gets better, and like anything else, a little hard work at the start pays dividends in abundance for the rest of your life.

Knowing yourself means respecting your values in life, your beliefs, your personality, your priorities, your moods, your habits, your magnificent body, and your relationships.

Knowing yourself means understanding your strengths and weaknesses, your passions and fears, your desires and dreams. It means being aware of your eccentricities and idiosyncrasies, your likes and dislikes, and your tolerances and limitations.

Knowing yourself means knowing your purpose in life. Or coming really darn close to finding it out!

You’re not born knowing yourself. Get over it.

You do not get to know yourself simply by growing up and growing old. Knowing yourself is a conscious effort; you do it with intention and purpose.

Not knowing yourself becomes obvious sooner or later. A quiet frustration lives in your heart when you do not know yourself. You may choose to live with it and ignore it – or you may choose to start getting to know yourself.

How to Get to Know Yourself in 5 Fool-Proof Steps:

1. Get to Know Your Personality

Understanding your own personality is the first key. You have the collective opinion of others which is one aspect.

You also have your own database of information about what your personality is really like, and who you are in your private moments as well as in your public ones.

The idea is to get to know your personality inside out, to know what you are and what you are not like. Understand what makes you react a certain way in life’s myriad of situations. Ask yourself “Why did I do that?” and answer it.

Who are you behind your name? What are your characteristic traits? Who are you among friends? What about strangers? What persona do you portray to the outside world?

What are you really like on a good day as well as a bad day, in face of a challenge or a great reward? How do you react to the world around you?

2. Get to Know Your Core Values

Your core values are the morale codes and the principles you hold near and dear to your heart. When I work with my clients, one of the first things I ask prior to our coaching sessions is a list of their top eight core values.

You probably have more than eight values, but the top eight play the big roles in decision-making, influencing, persuading, conflict-resolution, communication, and living your day-to-day life.

In your work, in your home, in all aspects of your life, which values can you never compromise? Those are your core values.

Is it honesty, integrity, security or flexibility? Is it dedication to others, wisdom and learning, financial comfort or fun? Do you value loyalty above excellence, responsibility above ambition, or innovation above improvement?

3. Get to Know Your Body

Youth is such foolishness. In my 20s, I used to think I know my body. I was but a child. The more I learn about my body, the more mysterious it becomes and the more I push my body, the more it surprises and delights and amazes me. Yours can too.

How well do you know your body, your breathing, your abilities, your limits of balance and flexibility?

Have you ever said “my body can’t do this” and that “my body type won’t do that” without even trying a physical challenge? Before you close the door to wonderful possibilities, take another look. Take the time to become truly intimate with the loveliest temple on earth, your own body.

4. Get to Know your Dreams

Your dreams and hopes create the pathway into your future. They help you build the life you can be proud of living.

Your dreams matter. Your dreams are important. Your dreams are worth going after. Don’t believe anything less.

And start getting to know your dreams well. Get to know the details and the specifics.

If you want to become a musician, ask yourself: What instrument do you want to play? What level of proficiency do you want to learn? How big a part of your life would it be? And on and on until you know everything about your dream.

Make your dreams part of your daily pursuits. Take them seriously. Work at them. Glorify them instead of hiding them and being ashamed of them.

5. Get to Know your Likes and Dislikes

What do you like and just as important, what do you dislike? Simple, innocent question but knowing this about yourself gives you a lot of confidence into who you are. A lot of people go through life liking what’s popular and disliking what’s not “cool”. Don’t do that.

Take the time to define your likes and dislikes, and don’t put it up for a vote among family and friends. You decide.

Defining your own likes and especially dislikes takes guts. It maybe impolite to dislike attending yet another baby shower or spending 3 hours with extended relatives, but look at the alternative. If you keep doing frustrates you and neglect what brings you joy, you give up part of who you are. It’s the least likely path to any happiness whatsoever.

Stay true to your likes and dislikes. Nobody has to like them but you!

Getting to know yourself allows you to tap into the well of happiness beyond your imagination. Bliss even on cloudy days.

Today’s inspiring article was written by Farnoosh Brook and is shared from the following website: http://www.prolificliving.com/the-greatest-discovery-of-all-getting-to-know-yourself/

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The D’s of Depression – Delve Into the Depths of Your Soul Part 2

Knowing Yourself is the Beginning of all Wisdom Aristotle

As I mentioned yesterday, this week we are going to address the incredibly important first step in overcoming depression: Knowing Yourself.  You may think you know yourself. After all, you spend every second of every day with yourself!

However, I believe that most people in general and virtually all individuals who are going through depression don’t know themselves well at all.

If I could, I would take each precious soul that is suffering with depression and spend some quality time with them and help them understand how amazing and wonderful this world is, how perfect and incredible the love that God has for them is, and the gift that they are to this world that we share.

In this first step to overcoming depression, it is vital that we do some serious self-evaluation and self-knowledge work. I found a wonderful to share with you today!

Whether you are going through depression or not, I hope you will take some time and get to know yourself better! Knowing who we are…knowing who we truly are is the foundation step to both endeavors: creating a depression-free life and creating a meaningful life.

I hope you will give yourself the gift of you by getting to know yourself better! You are worth the time and effort!

Get To Know Yourself: 29 Questions to Discover the Real You

At the core of our desires is living a life of purpose and meaning.

At the core of a life of purpose and meaning is being of service to others.

At the core of being of service to others is finding peace and happiness.

At the core of finding peace and happiness, we discover who we are.

And to do that, we must get over a little irony, that most of us hardly know – much less, know well – the single person we have spent every second of our existence with, our own selves.

Think you’re the exception? Let me ask you then: how well do you know yourself?

We are not talking about taking a personality test or learning about your family history. Neither are we talking about your favorite colors, your best childhood friend or your high school prom experience (thank goodness about the last one ;)).

We are talking about something much greater and of higher consequence. We are talking about who you are at your core, what most matters to you, what makes you come alive, what feeds your soul and what drains your spirit, and how to know the difference so you choose well as you move forward in life.

If you don’t know yourself all that well, you may still live a life in alignment with who you are but only by accident or some sheer stroke of luck.

And that, my darling, is too big a risk to take, so shall we eliminate the risk altogether?

Make it a certainty that you live in alignment with who you are not by accident or luck, but rather on purpose, by intention, by design.

How? By getting to know yourself really really well. One way to do that is to learn your values, passions and goals. Another is to ask the right questions.

How to Get to Know Yourself: 29 Questions to Self-Discovery

Here are just 29 questions that open the door to having a real conversation with yourself. I want to ask you to answer these questions honestly for yourself.

When you are ready to do this, copy these questions into a text document, quiet all outside distractions, take a few deep relaxing breaths, make a great cuppa tea, clear your mind of noise and clutter and dive in.

Know that there are no right or wrong answers. There is only you uncovering the process of building a closer relationship with the person within.

  1. What activity in your life lights you up with joy?
  2. What is something you always love doing, even when you are tired or rushed? Why?
  3. If a relationship or job makes you unhappy, do you choose to stay or leave?
  4. What do you fear about leaving a bad job or a bad relationship?
  5. What do you believe is possible for you?
  6. What have you done in your life that you are most proud of?
  7. What is the thing that you are second most proud of?
  8. What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?
  9. How does your being here in the universe change humanity for the better?
  10. If you could have one single wish granted, what would it be?
  11. How comfortable are you with your own mortality?
  12. What is your highest core value?
  13. To your best knowledge, how do other people perceive you?
  14. How would you like others to perceive you?
  15. How confident are you in your abilities to make decisions for yourself?
  16. What is your biggest self-limiting belief?
  17. Who is the most important person in your life?
  18. Who is your greatest role model?
  19. Who is a person that you don’t like yet you spend time with?
  20. What is something that is true for you no matter what?
  21. What is your moral compass in making difficult decisions?
  22. What is one failure that you have turned into your greatest lesson?
  23. What role does gratitude play in your life?
  24. How do you feel about your parents?
  25. How is your relationship with money?
  26. How do you feel about growing old someday?
  27. What role has formal education played in your life and how do you feel about it?
  28. Do you believe your destiny is pre-determined or in your hands to shape however you wish?
  29. What do you believe is the meaning of your life?

What If You Don’t Like the Questions Above?

I know. These questions are not meant to be easy or comfortable, but they are important to ask and to know. As you ask yourself questions, the process of self-inquiry begins, and at first, it is uncomfortable and unfamiliar – especially if you have never done it – yet in time, it becomes easier. Even fun.

Because here’s what you may not know. Or be afraid to believe.

You are a unique child of this world. You are brilliant, smart and wise. You are deep and fascinating. You are gifted and talented. You are beyond capable to do what you dream. You are loved, loving and lovable.

You are not too old or too fat or too poor. You are not too slow or too boring. You are simply none of the terrible things you tell yourself. You’re quite the opposite.

You are more than enough.

So while it’s up to you to decide if this self-discovery process is worthwhile, I would say trust me on this. Getting to know yourself IS worthwhile. Just do it!

Written by Farnoosh Brock and shared from the following website: http://www.prolificliving.com/get-to-know-yourself/

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Finding Happiness by Losing Our Self and Finding Our True Identity

No wonder we are instructed to lose ourselves (Luke 9:24) He is only asking us to lose the old self in order to find the new self. It is not a question of one’s losing identity but finding his True Identity Neal A. Maxwell

I have to make a confession. I have struggled with the concept of losing myself to find myself. Even after my near-death experience, I struggled. I have to give all credit to my ego in this struggle. For reasons I don’t even understand, I had a fear of losing the me that I knew and was (at least for the moment) happy with.

I am grateful that the Lord is always willing to work with us layer by layer. That has been the process with me. Layer by layer the Lord and removed the part of me that has held me back. It is still an ongoing process.

What I have learned in the process is that the Lord does not want to camouflage us or eliminate our importance. We are all important to Him. What he does want is to take the parts of us that interfere with our happiness and ability to receive of abundance. He wants to take the parts of “me” that I too determinedly hang onto and replace them with better parts. Think rusted parts found in a salvage yard (that I am mysteriously attached to) replaced with celestial parts created and manufactured in heaven.

As I have allowed the Lord to do His work with me, I have been the true beneficiary. I have discovered talents and joys that I otherwise would have forfeited. I have found a deeper and more satisfying inner peace. I have been enabled to understand concepts and nuggets of truth that previously evaded me. I have been endowed with greater joy and happiness and life has been made easier.

Life holds a different story for each of us. However, we are each meant to find happiness and joy. It is within our reach and it is ours for the choosing. I hope you have happiness and joy in your life. If not, seek the Lord in prayer and ask Him to help you find it – and then open your heart to the changes He will bring into your life.

Today’s article shares some wonderful thoughts – I hope you will enjoy!:

FINDING INNER PEACE (AND HAPPINESS)

“Lose yourself to find yourself”.  What does this phrase really mean?

The self that is being lost is the self-image your mind has made.  Any false identification with thoughts, emotions, forms, or anything you can perceive.  This is often referred to as “ego”.

The self that is being gained is the deeper awareness that can perceive the self image.  The true self beneath the illusions of the mind.  Pure consciousness, free from false identity.

Lose yourself to find yourself means to let go of what is not real about you, so only the real can remain.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ANYBODY

We are brought up to believe that we have to “be someone”, that life will be far better and more satisfying if we have a strong personality, can influence others and “make a difference” in the world.  This is a lot of effort, and in my own experience can create unnecessary pressure to be “something” or “someone” when it is not necessary.

Whatever work you do or contributions you make to the world, you do not have to identify with.  You actually serve and act more effectively when you are no longer acting to strengthen or maintain a false self-image.  What you do then becomes selfless and takes on a far greater power.  Then if you go through a period of inactivity, you are not dependent on activity for your sense of self anymore, so you will still be at peace and happy.

INTERACTING WITH OTHERS

The same goes for interactions with other people.  When you drop or at least begin to transcend your self-image, everything becomes easier.  You are not struggling to defend your self-image or who you think you are.  Instead you are simply there, fully present, from which any useful action, if required, arises.

Of course the ego in most of us often measures who we are or how good we are by judging the reactions of other people to us.  Most of us unconsciously believe that if we are more liked by people or people give us more positive feedback about ourselves, then this must mean we are better as people, or this gives us a right to be happy or satisfied.

If people do not like us or react negatively to us, there is often something inside that does not like it, that seems to take the opinions or responses of others as direct measurements of our sense of selves.

See what happens, if even for a moment, you can completely give up trying to be anything or anyone.  What happens when you can accept being nobody?  Being “nobody” is not a bad or a weak thing.  It is liberating.  It is just giving up your false sense of self.

It would be more accurate to say to “stop being anything” rather than “accept being nobody”.

When interacting with others, have no expectations of yourself.  You do not have to prove anything or do anything to make the other person happy or more comfortable.  Experiment with this.

You may well find, that then you behave in a totally natural and useful way.  When you give up your need to be someone or act a certain way to uphold an illusory self concept, or to gain any external (or internal) approval, suddenly you are freed from all anxiety or fear.  You become completely real and authentic.

From this place your natural state of peace and relaxed joy flows into your interaction, so you benefit the situation without even trying.  A greater power begins to work through you, but can only do this once you let down all of your walls and attempts to be someone.

THE REAL BENEATH THE UNREAL

When you are comfortable with being “no one”, what is left is your true nature – awareness, from which all “good” things come.  This is what is meant by “lose yourself to find yourself”.  There is no longer any fake ego covering up who you actually are.  Then you are far less likely to be disturbed by external factors, since they do not effect your sense of self – which is now pure awareness.

Do not identify with any self-image that your mind has created.  You are the awareness of the self image, unattached.

All actions that your body takes and all thoughts your mind produces occur within your own eternal awareness, the untouched presence.

Losing your false sense of self can seem scary, but it is only scary to the ego.  You can only lose what is not real about you.  The thing that does not want to disappear is the ego itself.

If you are identified with ego, you may believe you are afraid to let go of a part of your self image, or any thoughts or emotions you previously identified with.  The fear is of the ego, not of yourself. All it does is cover the truth and temporarily prevent you from realising it.

When you stop identifying with thoughts, emotions and self-image, you remain as awareness.  Lose yourself to find yourself.

Today’s article was written by Adam Oakley and is shared from the following website: https://www.innerpeacenow.com/inner-peace-blog/lose-yourself-to-find-yourself

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You Deserve Your Love…

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and afftection. Buddha A lot has been written about Loving Yourself – also called self-esteem. More should be written. More anxiety, more depression, more sadness and more misery could be overcome just by an increase of loving ourselves.

Too many individuals talk to themselves using words and voices that they would not use on their worst enemy.

God does not want us to beat ourselves up…and loving our self is not the same as conceit.

We each are a divine gift to this world – a gift created by God and shared by him as well.

This weekend, I hope you will look into your heart – identify all of the garbage and have a soul cleaning. You deserve to have joy and you deserve to be loved! Yet, if you don’t truly love yourself, it is next to impossible to have healthy, loving relationships with others!

I hope you will give yourself a hug and a pat on the back for all of your good qualities and have patience with yourself on all of those things you need to work on.

Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy today’s story!

This Uplifting Story Proves You Can CHOOSE Your Mood

This story was originally published on HerAfter.com, a website for women that shares inspiring articles on self-improvement and advice on becoming your best. You can read the original here.

A few hours after my parents told me that I had cancer, I went to the movies.

It sounds strange, but I was 17, and all I could do was keep cancer from taking over my life. That effort would start with keeping it from ruining my afternoon. I had plans. To live, in fact, and I was going to go through with them. Naivety is such a blessing when it offers such unfounded courage.

So this was my 17-year-old logic for why I had no business sitting at home and crying about cancer when the world was waiting. A bright, bold world that I had known I wanted to be part of, and in the light of new risks, I wanted it even more. You can read the full story of my diagnosis here, but for now, let us digest these strange circumstances with open eyes:

First, that the power the mind has to control our mood is unlimited. We forget this when we’re confronted with priorities, stress, time constraints. But if you can tell a clueless 17 year old that her life is in danger, and she refuses to be scared, then I’m quite certain the possibilities for you are endless.

Second, that in these little moments of clarity, when all that truly matters becomes glaringly apparent, and a basis for our most natural and self-aware intentions come to light, we should show a little gratitude. We should be grateful that we have the foresight to remember what truly matters, especially in the face of great adversity. In this story, my clarity continued through the afternoon…

Standing in the mall downtown waiting for the show, I found myself in the center of the theater complex. People bustled from one side to the other, one store to the next. It was Christmas time, and so even more busy and chaotic than usual. Reality might have well been just a portrait in motion: just in front of me, dreamily, and not quite touchable. I stood, feet planted in the marble lobby of this massive building, words and energies swirling around like water colors, moving in currents in every direction. Everyone had wishes on their lips, and wants on their lists, a concern for everyone they loved attached to their wallets. But I couldn’t make out a single thing. It wasn’t that the room spun around me, but still I became the center of it. Or maybe centered by it, the room and the world all around me in every direction.

 

This was the second truly profound moment of stillness — the first being while my parents told me the diagnosis, and I realized I could interject with “No, I’m not going to be scared.” Those little pockets of silence, the energy vibrating in pulses through your bones. The mind unattached and determined.

I know that you know the feeling. It’s waiting just at the moment when your tears take a pause. Or just after you’ve jumped into the lake, free floating just under the surface, and all stands still right before you come gasping up for air. Or right after the words “it’s over“ have left his mouth, and you’re not sure what to say, now that you’ve heard the words you were most afraid to hear…

Have you noticed that little pause? That little quiet moment that the universe gives you, like a hush across all the world. When you can see, even within the deepest pain, that the world still continues to spin around you, but you’re given a moment of total stillness…

This is what 17-year-old me was realizing, brave and hopeful. All a person can do is realize your physical presence, from head to do, and all the space around you that extends endlessly in every direction. Don’t worry about the past, don’t fret about the future. For now, just stand still, and breathe deeply, because THAT is your moment to choose.

In my moment, I’m just a girl, a girl who’s very sick, but a girl who’s right here right now, and is certain of what she’ll attempt to do. Though all this time I thought I understood everything about the world in a manageable way, but in truth all I am is a single entity. Really, I am just standing, pulsating, watching the water colors fly by, and thankfully the world is giving just a brief break in the chaos to help me look outward… Oh what a gift it truly is.

These still moments are just proof life’s endless love for us. A quiet little pocket in which we’re given the power to choose any one direction: fear, anger, hope, bravery, forgiveness, love. These little moments that we experience all alone, whether painful or joyful, are gifts that remind us the power we have to write our life’s story. And of the moment we are living in, a moment always in motion.

So much of our time and energy is absorbed with reaching for what we want to be, or fleeing from what we hope we aren’t. Whenever I’m online pinning for inspiration, I can see it. All the positive messages emblazoned on mugs and t-shirts and Instagram photos. All these words to remind us to work hard and keep focused, and how capable we are of getting to where we want to be! Oh if only it were as easy as a mug on our desk to make us a hero of our own lives!

But silence speaks the truth. It so softly whispers of our power to choose our mood, our action and our reaction. When we listen, listen listen… sometimes only because we’re begging the moment to move faster and end already, but it doesn’t… We realize this moment: Here we are. Right here right now, reading this, sharing my story with yours. And all the happy mug messages of “she believed she could and she did” don’t make any sense anymore. Because all “now” can say to us is “there she is.” And all we can say back is “okay here, right now, that is where I’ll start from…”

It’s ever a journey onward, whether facing backwards or forward. The moment is always moving. But when you get the gift of sudden stillness, or better yet if you can train yourself to stop, take a look around, and put yourself at center again, you’ll open your eyes and hearts to much more than you ever thought possible…

 

Embrace your power to choose your mood in three simple steps:

 

 

  • STOP

Take a breath in. Freeze the thoughts that are coming in — the fears, the anxieties, the worries, the excitements. Just stop and be still and let the breath be your focus.

  • LOOK AROUND

What is really happening right now? Not the fears of what you think might happen, not the worries about the future. What’s really happening? Regardless of the fight you’re in or the situation you’re trying to solve, what is really tangible here, now, with you?

  • LISTEN

What does your heart say? What feels right? What is the reaction your highest self would offer? Give your trust to the wisdom of life, and stop trying to over-plan what happens next too much. Have faith that the answers are presenting themselves even as you try to invent them, and let yourself be a channel for whatever life might have in store for you…

And, most sobering of all, please ask yourself:

What would your entire life look like if you embraced the power to CHOOSE your attitude, your mood, and your reactions, rather than let fear or doubt run your life?

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